6-11-24

 it’s actually been a few months…

Summer is always the time I feel happiest. It’s like hands-down the time where I don’t feel stressed or sad like the only true feelings are strong emotions I have are usually boredom compared to like the past year and this year like I feel a lot better obviously right now I just don’t feel fulfilled or like happy but like, I need to realize that I am good and I feel OK and I feel happy and I’m doing fine. I don’t know. I think there’s a part of me who wants to make something myself and I really wanna be someone like I want like I have big dreams and I don’t know if I’ve talked about it before but I’m all Aaptiv daydreaming or well. I can explain. I basically walk around in circles and daydream. It’s like a coping school people , four years ago I’ve had Maldive daydreaming for four years now and basically the storyline I’ve created with it. I really wanna make it like a show when I’m older and it’s like a really long plan that I have but I’m really excited about it cause I wanna make music with it and art and I really am into film so  it’s hard to explain honestly because like I have to find people and meet people to make a team to work with because I really want to be successful but as of 15 year-old, I’ve kind of just been out and trying to dream about what it’s gonna be but yeah, I started a YouTube channel. I remember last time I started a podcast and I pretty sure I like linked it in some of the blog posts, but I started a YouTube channel. I try to post something on my Instagram. I have a TikTok like I have a bunch of stuff , not seem to work out like I don’t know none of them seem to work out. it might be me too, though giving up really easily, but I feel like I put energy and effort into things and then they just don’t give me success and then I just give up like I have great ideas and then they just don’t work out